Interpersonal Violence

Positive Coping Methods

Positive coping methods are those that help to reduce anxiety, lessen other distressing reactions, and improve the situation in a way that does not harm you further and which improves things not only today, but tomorrow and in the future as well. Positive coping methods can include:

• Muscle relaxing exercises
• Talking to another person for support
• Exercise in moderation, including walking, jogging, or swimming
• Taking a self-defense training or martial arts
• Hot baths
• Positive distracting activities, including recreational or work activities such as: cooking, gardening, taking a walk, playing tennis, going to the park, drinking tea, bowling, watching a movie, writing a letter, calling a friend, listening to music, cleaning, or doing arts and crafts.
• Stretching or yoga
• Breathing exercises—slow, deep breaths
• Joining a support group
• Calling a rape crisis center hotline
• Meditation
• Journaling

Negative Coping Methods

Negative coping methods can make problems worse. They may reduce your anxiety immediately, but “short-circuit” more permanent change and cause additional problems. Negative coping methods can include:

• Continuing to avoid thinking about the assault
• Social isolation (keeping to yourself)
• Use of alcohol or drugs
• Binge eating (overeating)
• Avoiding counseling
• Cutting or hurting oneself
• Aggressive or violent actions
• Workaholism (working too much)

Ideas for coping with Memories of Sexual Assault

Here are some steps to help you actively stay in the present or “here and now”:

• Keep your eyes open and actively look around you. Look around the room or area where you are. Turn the light on if it is off.
• Say a safety statement: “My name is (name). I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am at (location) and the date is (date).”
• Touch objects around you (a pen, your purse, a book, your clothing, your chair) and notice how they feel.
• Carry something in your pocket or purse (ring, a rock, any safe object) that you can touch whenever you have thoughts of the assault.
• Saying a coping statement: “I can cope right now. This feeling will pass.”
• Think of people you care about (look at photographs of your best friend).
• Run cold water over your hands.
• Jump up and down.
• Stretch.
• Eat something and notice how it tastes.